Identify and Destroy > The Guilt Obstacle

Identify and Destroy > The Guilt Obstacle

In helpful tips, advice, Blog, ebook, Fatherhood Tools, News, tools by Ryan Sanders, M. Div. / June 15, 2017
One of the most effective tools Satan uses against fathers is guilt. Guilt over how we lived in the past and guilt over how we’re living now. If you're going to be an intentional father, guilt is one obstacle you must identify and destroy.

Do any of these obstacles sound like you?

  1. The Ignorance Obstacle > “I didn’t know it was my job.”
  2. The Inertia Obstacle > “I don’t know where to start.”
  3. The Delegation Obstacle > “I’ll let someone else do it.”
  4. The Guilt Obstacle > “Who am I to talk?”
  5. The Procrastination Obstacle > “I’ve got plenty of time.”
  6. The Despair Obstacle > “My kid’s too far gone.”

Let's talk about The Guilt Obstacle. In this post, we'll cover how it sounds, how it interferes, how to remove it and how Scripture can help us overcome it.

How the Obstacle Sounds

The guilt obstacle sounds like this: “I’ve got my own issues—who am I to talk?”

How the Obstacle Interferes

Kent Evans, founder of Manhood Journey says, "The guilt Satan drags us through is like quicksand, it envelopes us. The more we wrestle with it, the deeper we sink."

Understand there are two types of guilt: past guilt and present guilt. Watch out for both.


Past guilt deceives us by saying, “If your kids ever knew about (insert regretful choices x, y and z), they’d never listen to you.”


Present guilt tells us the lie, “Once you get it all together, you can then step into the leadership role for your children.”


With present guilt, we must parent from God’s Word, not our own “perfection.” You’re not perfect and neither am I, shocker right? However, God is perfect. We must use His word as our guide, not our own track record.

Find courage in the lives of men like Paul, David, Abraham, Noah—all of whom had major shortcomings. If these men of God can lead despite their wicked pasts, we can too.


Remember dad, no one else has the God-ordained responsibility of raising your children. If you wait until you're perfect, prepped and ready, guess what? You'll never do anything. Whatever guilt you have in your past or present, as a dad, it's our job to intentionally raise godly sons.

Can you see how the guilt obstacle interferes with being a godly dad?

How to Remove The Obstacle

1) Be free > God’s Word tells us there is no condemnation in Christ. If guilt weighs you down, check to see if you have really accepted God’s grace and understand it well.

2) Own it > You can leverage your past mistakes. As our children grow, you can genuinely share some mistakes with them to show them “how not to do it.”

3) Gospel pivot > Learn to say, “Yes, son, I blew it. Your dad makes mistakes too. I'm not perfect. But, God is perfect.” Basically, learn to move from your mistakes to ultimately pointing to God. Help guide your son to trusting in Him.

How Scripture Helps Us Overcome the Obstacle

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” —1 John 1:9

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because the law of the Spirit of like in  Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death.” —Romans 8:1-2

Now that we know how The Guilt Obstacle sounds, how it interferes, how to remove it and how Scripture helps, we can start building the next generation of godly men. We'll unpack more obstacles in future posts, so join us by grabbing your free eBook Identify and Destroy. Let's walk this journey together.

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