3 lies we buy as dads: "I need me time." (2 of 3)

3 lies we buy as dads: "I need me time." (2 of 3)

In helpful tips, biblical fatherhood, field guides, work-life, power plant by Mike Lovato, M. Div. / December 13, 2018

We buy into lies that keep us from having enough energy for both work and home. These distortions are subtle. Many sound like truth on the surface and may even contain some elements of truth. However, if we aren’t careful, we’ll find ourselves deceived and struggling in giving enough energy at home.  

 

For this post, let's talk about lie #2 of 3: "I need 'me' time."

 

 


 

Question: Is your wife and kids getting your best? 

 


 

Lie #2: “I need ‘me’ time.”

I mentioned in my last post about the lie we tell ourselves of needing time to unwind. While yes, you do need time for you. However, it’s easy for “me time” to become an excuse for not wanting to engage with others.

 

The concept of self-care is important. You should keep an eye on the different “gauges” in your life—physical, emotional, spiritual. But let's be honest, we can become so focused on ourselves that we neglect those around us.

 

Consider this: is it worth it if you take great care of yourself, but your wife and kids aren’t getting your best? The Bible is clear about living an others-centered life. In Philippians 2:3, Paul leans on Christ’s example as he challenges us to, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” Jesus modeled living a life of putting others first by giving the ultimate sacrifice through His death by crucifixion.

 

Paul’s challenge here is to get our motives straight. We are to operate not from a place that looks out for our own needs first, but instead to operate from a posture of humility. We are to look at others as most important.

 

Humility is about thinking highly of others. Selfishness asks, “What’s in it for me?” Humility asks, “What’s best for the other person?” Selfishness is me-first. Humility is others-first. Selfishness looks to escape. Humility seeks to engage.

 


 

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Selfishness looks to escape. Humility seeks to engage.

 

  


 

A humble father isn’t one who gets trampled on. A humble father is one who is strong enough to put his needs aside and take care of the needs of others first.

 

As a godly husband and father, when you model an others-first mentality, you are doing more than just valuing your kids. You are teaching them about the type of attitude Christ would have them take on.

 

My kids, naturally, will always choose their own version of “me time.” It only takes a quick trip down the freeway for the back-seat debate to begin over who gets to play with some treasured item. An others-first mentality in my kids takes work and it starts with my display of putting others first in my own family.

 

You are acting counter-culturally when you reject the “me time” mentality.

 

Our culture screams at us every day to be self-centered. The culture repeatedly reminds you it’s all about you. You should have the food you want, when you want and how you want. You can customize your new car to be exactly the way you prefer. The highest value in our society today is to do whatever makes you happy.

 

I’ll be honest. I’d be much happier taking some “me time” most evenings, but being a great dad to Addison and Harper is more important to me than my “me time.”

  

Question: Is your wife and kids getting your best? Tell us in the comments section below, tweet us @manhoodjourney or you can always email me   

 

Check out POWER PLANT 


 

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About the author > Mike Lovato, M. Div.

Mike lives in Riverside, California with his wife, Nicole and two daughters, Addison & Harper. He’s a graduate of California Baptist University and Gateway Seminary. Mike has served on staff at Magnolia Church since 2005, loves good coffee & enjoys being a weekend explorer. Learn more about Mike here and get his Field Guide Power Plant.
 
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